Dancing

This is another piece I wrote for creative writing. It's actually a revision of a blog post I wrote a couple years ago: extended and molded a bit, but still recognizable. However, regardless of whether you were reading my blog way back then or not, I hope you enjoy this. :)

Dancing

Dip and sway and one two three and swirl and brush and watch your toes. The couples swirled about the room tentatively, watching each other closely as they attempted not to run in to the other people in the room. It was an evening ballroom dance class at the local community college, and no one with the exception of the instructor really had any idea what they were doing, my friends and I least of all. Linda and I had decided it would be great fun to take a dance class, and, of course, we couldn’t take it by ourselves. We had to find boys to go with us! So together we wheedled my brother and one other boy from our Bible study into taking with us. “Come on,” we coaxed, “It will be fun!” And with surprising ease we won them over. Showing up for the first class, we realized that the four of us (of whom I, barely twenty, was the oldest) were the only members of the class under the age of forty-five, but we (at least Linda and I) were determined to have fun anyhow. So we learned the waltz, the salsa, the foxtrot, and the tango. Only one class each, a mere taste of what each had to offer. We danced our way through the cha-cha and the mamba and, my personal favourite, the swing. Ultimately, we came away knowing a little bit about everything but not enough about anything, and with disuse even that little bit of initial knowledge soon disappeared. However, dancing did help bring home to me some important truths. For, as I learned the rules of dance, I couldn’t help but draw parallels between the core principles of dance and some of the important principles of my walk as a Christian.

First, dancing is awfully difficult when you don’t know the steps. Starting out, I felt awkward and embarrassed. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I stepped on my poor brother’s toes as often as not. However, I purposed to learn the steps by listening to the instructor, paying attention to what he said, and practicing at home as often as I got the chance. Over time, this led to improvement, and by the end of the class I was able to pick up even new dances more quickly based on the knowledge I had acquired. Similarly, in my Christian life I have had to learn the steps of walking with Jesus by studying the His Word (the Bible) as well as listening to other learners who are farther along the way than I. In this way I learn the basics of the dance He is calling me to and begin to understand the basic principles of the rhythms and steps through which He might lead me. As in dancing, this starts with the basic principles which, for dance, are where to put your feet, how to place your arms, how to listen to the music, and for Christianity include such basic concepts as our need for redemption and the grace and forgiveness of Christ. Over time, though, as these basics have been mastered more can be added to them and more difficult steps can be learned, more difficult theological concepts wrestled with. As my mom always says, God won’t show you the next thing until you’ve been obedient in this one.

This leads me directly to my second principle which is that in learning to dance I had to learn to follow my brother. This was difficult since I was pretty sure I knew what we were supposed to be doing better than he did, and I’m not too used to letting my little brother call the shots. However, the styles we were learning dictated it. You see, with the exception of a few set dances, most ballroom dance styles require the guy to call the steps. As I quickly learned, there is a very good reason for this. Namely that in most ballroom dances the girl (that would be me) is facing backwards. What this means practically is that if I tried to lead the result was almost certainly either crashing into another couple on the floor, a wall, or some other such obstacle or great frustration on the part of her partner as he tries to maneuver her around these obstacles when she won’t follow. Therefore, even when I knew all of the steps available to me, I had to learn to accept that I did not know the direction or order of the steps until Mitchell communicated them to me. Christianity, too, instructs that I must learn to follow. Again and again in Scripture Jesus calls me to “follow Him,” to “die to myself,” and to completely surrender my will to His. This is still something I struggle though, especially in those times when I haven’t heard anything and feel like a decision needs to be made right now, but I have learned (the hard way, unfortunately) that not waiting is frequently a far worse and more painful decision than deciding to go ahead and take the next step on my own.

This leads to the third principle. In dancing in order to follow my brother I had to learn to listen to his lead. This was at times a very frustrating phenomena when he wasn’t very good at communicating changes in direction in any manner other than yanking me suddenly to one side or the other or at indicating a shift in step besides simply stepping on my toes when he (seemingly randomly) switched steps. Over time, however, we learned to work together, and I could tell by a slight pressure of his hand in the small of my back that we were now going to shift to the right or by an incline of his head that we would be shifting to a turn step rather than a box. Similarly, I have learned in my walk with Christ the importance of learning to listen for His voice when I’m trying to make a decision. However, in order to do this I have to learn to hear His voice. As Jesus says in the book of Mark, his followers are recognizable by the fact that they hear and obey his voice. This comes, once again, through prayer and Bible study, through studying what He’s like and how He speaks and so familiarizing myself with Him that as soon as He begins to prompt my heart I recognize it as Him and not something else.

The fourth principle of ballroom dancing I learned was that I had to trust my partner. Our instructor emphasized repeatedly that in order to follow properly I had to lean back in to the support of Mitchell’s hand to such an extent that if he were not to hold me up I would fall. Otherwise, our instructor declared, he would be unable to truly lead. For me, this was by far the hardest lesson to learn. I was petrified to put myself in a position of uncertain footing where it felt like I might fall at any moment, and I would hold my body entirely stiff or else simply refuse to lean. My brother kept reassuring me that I could trust him, he wouldn’t let me fall. But I…. Well… Let’s just say I wasn’t so sure. Finally, though, I began to get the hang of it, resting my weight back into my brother’s hand. And, lo and behold, when I did so listening to and following his lead became exponentially easier. Rather than having to try so hard in order to feel when he was leading me one direction or the other it became second nature as my balance followed and depended on his own. In the same way, I know that I can never truly follow Christ until I give Him my everything, leaning on Him so strongly that I would entirely lose my balance without Him there to steady me. Just as this was the most terrifying part of dancing, it is the most terrifying aspect of my life as a follower of Christ. In general, I prefer to have a safety net and to keep certain things in my life that I tell him, “No, Lord, I’ll do anything you say except that.” Or “You can have all of me except for that little piece.” But that’s not true following, and I know it. Because, just like in dance, true following, full following means giving up my own sense of balance and trusting that the One I’m dancing with won’t let me fall. As my dance instructor reminded me so many times, “Fear of falling adds nothing to the dance. It only stilts it and keeps it from being everything it can be.”

As I write these pages I am transported once again to that little room in the back of the gym and the dance classes we had there. I feel once again the frustration of trying to understand, the slowness of our progress, and the dissatisfaction when, no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t quite seem to get it. However, I also remember the feeling of sheer joy and pleasure when we finally got it right, becoming one unit as we moved across the floor and dancing in unison with the music with my balance resting totally on his hand and my skirt twirling around my legs as he spun me out and back in. It is similar feelings which I enjoy in my relationship with Christ. Yes, just like in dance, my learning curve is sometimes slow, and I struggle to learn the steps. I get frustrated with myself for my failures and am resistant and fall. I miss steps and stumble and generally make a mess of things at times to the extent that I just want to quit. And, sometimes, no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to get it right. There are days when life is so dark that I can’t see His face to reassure me and my heart is so numb that I can’t feel His hand guiding me, when the tears run down my cheeks because it just hurts so badly to move, to breathe. But at those times I remember the moments of Beauty, those moments of inexpressible Joy which take my breath away with sheer wonder at the beauty of my Savior, the love He has for me, and the delight He takes in me. And I keep dancing.

On my love of C.S. Lewis

"The fellow-pupil can help more than the master because he knows less. The difficulty we want him to explain is one he has recently met. The expert met it so long ago that he has forgotten. He sees the whole subject, by now, in such a different light that he cannot conceive what is really troubling the pupil; he sees a dozen other difficulties which ought to be troubling him but aren't" ~ C.S. Lewis in Reflections on the Psalms

I can't recall if I've ever mentioned it here or not, but I love C.S. Lewis. As, a professor of literature, a powerful writer and thinker, and a passionate and outspoken lover of Christ he serves as one of my role models and inspiration in life, and, as far as authors go, he is undoubtedly my favourite. Whether fiction or nonfiction, his prose simply makes me happy through its beauty, its eloquence, and its ability to make me think. In fact, I think the above quote summarizes much of what I find appealing about his work: he is a fellow student and disciple of Christ, learning to follow Him in a way that is faithful, powerful, and true, but he experiences many of the same struggles and difficulties I have along the way. As I read his works, I learn from someone else who has traveled the same path I have (although, his journey was also in many ways different from my own), and he sometimes manages to give voice to some of my thoughts, emotions, and longings which I myself have been unable to properly articulate.

If I were to make a list of people I wish were still around so that I could simply sit and talk with them, he would be on it, and I hope that someday in heaven I get the opportunity for a conversation with him (presuming we're not both too busy simply worshipping Jesus and delighting in finally being able to see Him face to face and bask in His presence... Cause that will be absolutely amazing!).

Do you have any particular authors in your life who do this for you? Who, when you read their work, make you you think "Here's someone who thinks like I do!"?

New Year's Resolutions: 2011 Edition

Once again, it's New Year's Eve and time to make New Year's resolutions!
To be perfectly honest, I don't even remember what mine were last year... But I'm fairly certain that I failed in keeping them! Funny, isn't it, how that always happens?
Well, this year I'm writing them down. Right here. On the internet. For everyone to see. Will that help me keep them? Probably not... But maybe!
So, what are my resolutions this year? I think I shall come up with eleven in honor of the year 2011. And, with that, here it goes:

Firstly, I plan to graduate college. Again. That one should be decently easy to accomplish. Only one semester to go!

Secondly, I will continue my pie-baking endeavors until I have reached a far greater mastery of the art of the pie! (I have, however, made significant progress along those lines this month. I will try to make a post about that later today!)

Thirdly, I will learn to knit. Currently I am decently proficient at crocheting and enjoy making things for others that brings smiles to the faces of those I love. However, I'm not much good at knitting and would very much like to improve my skills in that area.

Fourthly, every year I read many books but have forgotten what most of them were by the time the year is complete. This year, I would like to keep a list of the books I read and at least short reviews of them. That way in the years to come I'll know whether I ought to recommend and/or reread them or not!

Fifthly, I want to get my passport and travel out of the country. I've never left the United States except for a couple day trips to Canada when we lived up there, and I'd like to see something a little more outside of my everyday world.

Sixthly, I want to go on a mission trip. This may or may not go along with resolution seven since I know many mission trips are within the country, but I have never been on one domestic or international and would dearly love to go.

Seventhly (not a word, I know, but it provides nice parallelism), I think I'd like to try my hand at the whole NaNoWriMo next year. My sister has now participated in it two years in a row, and each time I've been inspired to try it for myself. I'm not normally much of a fiction writer. I prefer to write my research papers and article reviews and such, but I'd like to try at least once. So, since this year I won't be in school, and, therefore, (in theory) not quite as busy, I think I shall see what I can do!

Eighthly, my piano has been a bit out of use this past year. In the coming year, I will start practicing it again and work on regaining my proficiency. I would like to have at least four challenging songs memorized by the end of 2011 (I'm going with a low number... Let's not be too ambitious!).

Ninthly, I plan to read through the whole Bible at least once. It's been awhile since I've done that, and there are parts which I simply am not so familiar with any more. I want to be familiar with them and to take this opportunity to learn more about the God I love and serve and to draw nearer to Him than I have ever been before.

Tenthly, I plan to memorize a book of the Bible. Which one? I haven't decided yet, but I'm thinking probably 1 Peter. I'd also like to memorize Psalm 119. And maybe Ecclesiastes? There are just so many excellent choices!

Eleventhly, and finally, I plan to figure out to next step in my life. More school? Teacher certification? A job? Or something else entirely? I'm coming to a new chapter in my life now, and I plan to take this next year to spend some much needed time in prayer and consideration of the next step God has for me. It's both exciting and terrifying, but I know that He has plans for my life, and I can't wait to find out what those might be!

So, this year will be a year of many things: of learning new skills and polishing old ones, of new experiences on multiple fronts, and of focusing on growing my relationship with God and discovering the next step He has in store for me. I'm thinking it will most certainly be an adventure worth writing about!

Peering Through the Mist

"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love." ~ I Corinthians 12:12-13 (The Message)

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." ~ I Corinthians 12:12-13 (ESV)

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." ~ 1 Corinthians 12:12-13 (KJV)

Do you ever have days in your life where you feel like the path is totally obscured and you have no idea where you're going? Do you ever have says where you feel like God is out of reach and no matter how hard you seek Him He is simply not to be found even though you know that in truth He is right by you side? I know that I do. And during those times, I find comfort in knowing that this is not my home, that the fog I travel through and the things I see now are only a faint shadow of what's to come, even though for now they may be all I can see.

A while back as I was struggling with these things, these verses kept coming to my mind. So, I looked them up. I got online. I looked them up in more versions. I took them to heart and was encouraged by them. The Message is not normally a version of the Bible I read; I realize that it is not necessarily a reliable interpretation of the Scripture. However, there are times when I like to see how it has phrased things, just for something a bit different, and this is one of those times I'm glad I did. I love the way The Message translation deals with this verse, and am inspired by it to change the name of my blog. So, I am changing it, and soon I will put together a new header, but for right now I'm simply going to change the title, and, probably the direction of this blog a bit. I have several posts mulling over in my mind right now that hopefully will find their way here soon (maybe once finals and school papers are out of the way for a bit). Until then, it is my hope that you will all "Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly."

On Psalm 119

This week I'm reading and meditating on Psalm 119 with my Journey group here at school. Today was my first day, and as I was reading the introduction to the Psalm in my Bible these words struck me: "The psalm speaks the language of one ravished with moral beauty, to which there is only one fitting response -- to try to reproduce this beauty, as much as possible, in one's daily life" through "yearning, trust, and dependence on God." Wow! These words struck me with incredible power, and I have been pondering ever since the wonder of being ravished by God's moral beauty, his beauty of holiness, mercy, grace, justice, and so many other attributes such that we can response with nothing other than worship, submission, love, wonder, and yearning for more of Him! Is it not a glorious thought? O, to be moved in such a way!

A Post of Thanksgiving

I just realized that yesterday's post was a bit depressing and thought I should strive to give a bit more about the positive side of life as well. :)

Although this semester has been rough in many ways, I am just as confident now as I was when it began that I am where God wants me. School has been a blessing in many ways this semester. I've enjoyed all of my classes even though they've been challenging at times, and I've made lots of new friends who I look forward to getting to know better next semester! :) God has also been using the struggles He's sent me this semester to help me grow, and while growing is at times painful it is a good thing!

On this day before Thanksgiving, I am, indeed, thankful for so many things in my life. I'm thankful for friends and family who love me, pray for me, and encourage me. I'm thankful for our soldiers who are willing to sacrifice their holidays with family to defend our country. I'm thankful for the opportunity to go to school, get an education, and study the things I love. I'm thankful for professors who are willing to work with me when I need to spend time at home with my family. And, most of all, I'm thankful for a sovereign God who loves me and is working all things together for my good and His glory and for the wonderful love He has displayed through His son, Jesus Christ. I'm thankful that He is patient and kind with our frailties and loves us no matter what. He is, indeed, an Awesome God!

May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with much love and many blessings!

"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Life Means So Much

So, lately I've been musing a lot on how to spend my time more wisely. Since coming to school, I've found that my tendency to just kind of piddle away my life (especially in computer related ways) seems to have gotten worse. Afte two nights of being up way too late writing last minute essays combined with the sermon I listened to yesterday about making wise choices with our time. I have decided that something must be done. Action must be taken. Therefore, to attain this end, I wrote out a list yesterday of things that I'm going to give up for the week and things which I am going to purpose to include in my weekly schedule. One of those things is writing at least once, maybe twice a week in this blog. :) Other things include more exercise, Scripture memorization, a more disciplined schedule of Scripture reading and prayer, and a more regular study routine (hopefully resulting in no more 3 a.m. papers!). On a final note, I'm going to leave you with a song by Chris Rice (one of my favourite artists). May you all have a blessed week and spend your time wisely in service to Christ. Remember, He gave His life for us. How will we spend the precious time He's given us?

Life Means So Much - By Chris Rice
Everyday is a journal page
Every man holds a quill and ink
And there’s plenty of room for writing in
All we do and believe and think
So will you compose a curse
Or will today bring the blessings
Fill the page with rhyming verse
Or some random sketchings

Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much

Everyday is a bank account
And time is our currency
So no one’s rich, nobody’s poor
We get twenty-four hours each
So how are you gonna spend
Will you invest or squander
Try to get ahead
Or help someone who’s under

Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much

Has anybody lived who knew the value of a life?
And don’t you think giving his own
Would prove the worth of yours and mine?

Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much

I Want to be Moved

I love Ginny Owens. I love her sound and her style, but most of all I love her lyrics. I feel that she is so honest in what she writes, and much of it resonates with me at different points in my life. Today, I was listening to some of her music when I came upon this song which seemed to strike a chord in my life. Don't we all have those days where our feelings for Christ seem to be dead and gone, our passion feels cold, but the cry of our hearts is to be on fire for Him, serving him with an all-consuming passion? I know that I do, and this song just seems to put my feelings into words:

This road is winding, narrow and steep
And I can't keep walking with frozen feet,
My spirit is not willing;
My heart is cold as ice;
Thaw out my convictions;
The passion's left my life

Chorus:
I don't wanna be a flame
I wanna be a raging fire!
Tired of my will, my way,
Your calling's higher
Oh, I know it's time I stopped running from the Truth
So I'll stand here still, until I'm filled
I wanna be moved
I wanna be moved by You

Wanna be a rebel with a Holy cause,
Stand against the Devil and hold up my cross,
You have a mission for me; a reason why I'm here,
To radiate Your glory, with sweet songs to Your ears

My Anxious Heart

I have a confession to make. I am a stresser. I stress over all sorts of decisions, big and small, and oftentimes allow that stress to steal much of the peace and joy which I might otherwise find in life (not to mention my health!). This is something which God has been dealing with my on quite a bit the last few months as I've been struggling to make some important decisions (as well as some not so important ones, lol.) In my quite times with Him He's given me verses like Psalm 37:7a "Do not fret," and Philippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let you requests be made known to God." My mother has addressed this issue with me as well, telling me that I stress too much over everything. So, I'm working on it. Although, it's certainly not easy. I feel like my conversations with the Lord have been going something like this:
"Father, I'd really appreciate your guidance on this decision. It's stressing me a lot, and I need to decide. I have a deadline!"
"It's alright. Just trust in me. You've told me my request, now wait for me to answer it."
"But, Lord, I have a deadline!"
"Yes, I heard you."
"But, but, the deadline's soon! And it's an important decision!"
"I know. Don't worry. You'll have your answer when you need it."
So, we'll have this conversation for awhile. Then, I'll begin to think I may have an answer, and I'll start stressing over that.
"Are You sure that's the right decision, Lord? I don't know... The other option looks pretty good too. Are You telling me this, or am I just thinking it on my own? Is this guidance from You, or just my own thoughts and emotions and feelings, etc. playing tricks on me?"
Fortunately, He is faithful and patient with me. He does give me my answers when I need them, and, slowly but surely, He is shaping me and teaching me, calming my anxious heart. :)
Thus it is that I have made some big decisions lately about my school, living situation, etc. which will likely have a significant impact on my life in the next couple of years, and I am excited (though still a bit nervous as well) to see what He is going to do with it all!

On a separate note, I am leaving on a nearly two week vacation to Michigan on Wednesday and while there will have very little internet capability. Therefore, I will likely be neglecting this poor blog even more than usual, but maybe I'll have some fun things to post from my trip when I get back!

Women of the Bible

Sorry. I know that once again it's been awhile since I posted, by life, even in the summer, can be a rather time-consuming thing! :) That said, I am formulating a couple of posts in my head and will hopefully have them up sometime soon. In the meantime, I wanted to share with you all a poem which was given to me by a dear friend several years ago and which has been a great challenge and encouragement to me through the years. Lately, especially, I have been praying a lot about the kind of woman which the Lord would have me become, and He has been bringing this poem to my mind frequently. Therefore, I have elected to share it with you all and hope it will be as much a blessing to you as it has been to me!

Like Deborah,
I will serve the Lord in power and speak His Word without fear.
Like Esther,
I will intercede for God's people before His throne.
Like Abigail,
I will humble myself to wash the feet of the servants of the Lord.
Like Sarah,
I will respect my husband and his ministry to the Lord
Like Hannah,
I will dedicate my children to the Lord.
Like Priscilla,
I will explain the way of God more perfectly to those who are seeking.
Like the Shunamite widow,
I will trust God in the day of adversity.
Like Lydia,
I will be a worshiper of God and open my home to his ministers.
Like Tabitha,
I will always do good and help the poor.
Like Joanna,
I will use my wealth to support the ministry of Jesus.
Like Mary, the mother of Jesus,
I will hear the word of God to me and answer, "Be it unto me as you have said."
Like Mary, the sister of Martha,
I will know the voice of Jesus and hear His words.
Like Mary, the mother of Mark,
I will make my home a haven for the followers of Jesus.
Like Mary, the Magdalene,
I will keep at the feet of Jesus and love Him unto death.
~ Anonymous

Spiritual Lessons Gleaned from a Severe Case of Poison Ivy :)

Well, I'm finally finished with school for the semester. Yay! In fact, I'm finished at this school for forever. I have graduated and am preparing to transfer to a new university in the fall, exciting stuff! Beyond that, I haven't really decided what to blog over... I've considered the spiritual object lessons I've gleaned from my little brother's poison ivy (there are at least two. Don't you love it when God teaches you things even where you don't expect it?), I've considered a post on my summer plans (which aren't terribly exciting at this point), and I've considered a post on the wedding I attended last night (It was beautiful!). I think, however, that I'm going to go with the Spiritual lessons I've gleaned from my brother's poison ivy.

My six year old brother has poison ivy very badly. Currently, it is on the underside if both arms, on his abdomen, on his neck, on his cheeks, and all around both eyes (one eye is practically swollen shut by the poison ivy!). It is really quite sad to look at, however, I do have limited sympathy for him, for two reasons. First, he was relatively sure it was poison ivy when he picked it up. You see, he is one of those children who really doesn't comprehend the fact that he can be injured, despite the fact that he is on a relatively routine basis. He was out in the woods on our back property playing with some of my older siblings when he came running to my sister (12) with a three-leafed plant in his hand. "Look, Kay! Is this poison ivy? I think it's poison ivy."
"Yes, Layne, I think it probably is poison ivy, but I'm not really sure."
"Ooo... Look! I have poison ivy in my hand! I can rub it on my arm and it doesn't hurt me!"
"Layne, you should probably put that down."
"Hmm.. Okay!" and off he runs. Now, as I said, I've drawn a couple of Spiritual lessons from his experience. The first is that frequently we place ourselves in tempting situations because "I can handle it. It won't hurt me." However, frequently those situations do end up hurting us, sometimes in ways we don't fully comprehend until sometime later. Thus, Scripture tells us to FLEE temptation, not to flirt with it.

So, you might be wondering what the second lesson I've gotten from my brother's poison ivy is. Well, he did (obviously) eventually develop the poison ivy rash. However, initially it was only a patch on his arm (where he'd rubbed the plant, go figure!). However, despite the warnings of multiple others - myself, my mother, my father and other older experienced people (O, yes I'm experienced! you should have seen my poison ivy last year! I know what I'm talking about here!) - he itched. Now, something many of you may not know about poison ivy is that once the rash appears the oils of the poison ivy have actually bonded to the molecular structure of your skin. This means that, although you cannot spread the rash to other people, you can quickly spread it ALL OVER yourself if you itch, and he itched. Not only did he itch, he itched then rubbed his eyes which means that now he has poison ivy all over both eye-lids (it's quite a sad sight to behold). Now, what spiritual lesson did I learn from this? Sin spreads. Once you have a sin in your life, that sin takes hold, and it is extremely hard to get rid of it on your own. You might think you know how to handle it, you might think that itching it feels good, it helps to relieve the pain, but really you need help. You need to seek out and listen to the advice of your spiritual elders and mentors, you need to saturate yourself with Scripture, and you need to seek the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit. Because, once you've fallen in to a particular sin, you're usually far more drawn to do it again. It is, so to speak, bonded to your DNA. Satan has a foothold and, given the opportunity, he'll be more than happy to take advantage of it.

Thus, these are the deep Spiritual lessons I've gleaned from my brother's poison ivy. That, and some slightly less Spiritual lessons as well. Namely, if you see a plant you believe to be poison ivy, don't pick it and rub it up and down your arm. It's really not a good idea at all. lol.

A Quote

“Although, dear Lord, I have no feeling of confidence in Thee, I know all the same that Thou art my God, that I am wholly Thine, and that I have no hope but in Thy goodness; therefore I abandon myself entirely into Thy hands.”
~ St. Francis de Sales

Another busy week. I must confess, I am very much looking forward to school being out. Only two more weeks until summer! Yay!
In the meantime, I wanted to share this quote with you. It is actually one I found on another blog a year or two ago which greatly helped me during a time in my life when I was really struggling spiritually. It is my prayer that it would be a blessing to you too.

In Christ,
Kyndra

Glory Giver

I'm so sorry for my neglect of this blog! My only excuses would be 1. School has been very busy and 2. life outside of school has been quite busy too. I don't really have time for a full blog post tonight, but I wanted to share the lyrics of one of my favorite songs with you all and reassure you that I will be attempting to blog a bit more frequently with at least one blog post a week. :)

This song always reminds me of who I am in Christ and of the fact that He, and He alone, deserves all the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

Glory Giver
by The Annie Moses Band

I am a bride waiting for her first kiss
I am a child dancing in the river
I am a worshipper basking in the bliss
Of the glory of the glory Giver

I am a saint dressed in robes of pure white
I am a jewel set in finest silver
I am a follower walking in the light
Of the glory of the glory Giver

I am a pearl purchased at a great price
I am an heir chosen and delivered
I am a miracle bursting with the life
Of the glory of the glory Giver

Living a Life of Worship

For the Christian, worship is coexistent with life. The Christian does not go into the "temple" on the Lord's Day; he takes the temple with him. . . going into this place as many temples gather at this converging point, because life is already an expression of worship. So, you see, the game on the tennis court, acting in that play, their artistic expression, the musical expression, your brilliance in your studies, your relationship with your family, the exhilaration of a game can be a legitimate expression of worship in your life. - Ravi Zacharias

"God has made me for a purpose - China. But He's also made me fast, and when I run I feel his pleasure." - Eric Liddell

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God. - 1 Corinthians 10:31

God has given us each so any gifts, and I believe far too often we take those gifts for granted, seeing them simply as things we're good at rather than as gifts which God has given us to use for His glory. Therefore, my challenge for myself and for my readers is to discover those gifts which God has given me, to diligently seek the ways in which I can use them to glorify Christ, and to truly give my best in all I do, living my life as a living sacrifice to Him.

Stirred once again by the story of how you loved me...

Seems that life's become so complicated
I don't think it was meant to be this way
I find myself so distracted
Caught up in the chaos of each day

When did I stop asking for your wisdom?
As if your words were meant for someone else
Why do I choose to second-guess you?
Oh I only frustrate and confuse myself

I just wanna love you, Simply love you
The way it used to be
When your love was new to me

I just wanna love you, simply love you
To hear what you say and live every day
Like you asked me to
I just wanna simply love you

Many times you spoke of us as children
Childhood seems to me so long ago
You say I can trust you like I did then
If I give you my hand then
you'll lead me home

I just wanna love you, Simply love you
The way it used to be
When your love was new to me

I just wanna love you, simply love you
To hear what you say and live every day
Like you asked me to
I just wanna simply love you

Oh...to fall on my knees
With the fresh disbelief
Stirred once again a the story
of how you loved me

I just wanna love you, Simply love you
The way it used to be
When your love was new to me

I just wanna love you, simply love you
To hear what you say and live every day
Like you asked me to
I just wanna simply love you

- "Simply Love You" by Ginny Owens

This is one of my favorite songs. It seems to echo the cry of my heart in so many ways! Just yesterday I received a text from a friend whom I had been praying for for quite awhile saying that she had finally surrendered her life to Christ, laid her burdens down at HIs feet, and accepted Him as her savior. I am so thrilled for her, and the joy and passion of new Christians is always so refreshing. At the same time, it is convicting, reminding me that I don't have the same passion, the same love for Him that I did when I was first saved. I want to be "stirred once again by the story of how [he] loved me," rather than being so easily caught up in the chaos of each day, losing sight of Him and His love.

All the Way My Savior Leads Me

All the way my Savior leads me;
Who have I to ask beside?
How could I doubt His tender mercies,
Who through life has been my guide?

All the way my Savior leads me,
And cheers each winding path Itread,
He gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the Living Bread.

He leads me, and keeps me from falling.
He carries me close to His heart,
And surely His goodness and mercy will follow me.

All the way my Savior leads me;
O the fullness of His love!
O the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood.

When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day.
This my song through endless ages:
"Jesus led me all the way.
Jesus led me all the way."

He leads me, and keeps me from falling.
He carries me, close to His heart,
And surely His goodness and mercy will follow me.

He leads me, and keeps me from falling.
He carries me, close to His heart,
And surely His goodness and mercy will follow me.

All the way me Savior leads me.
All the way my Savior leads me.

- From "All the Way my Savior Leads Me by Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and Fanny J. Crosby

We're singing this song in choir right now, and it is really resonating with me as I'm really struggling to make an important. I've put a lot of prayer and stress into this decision without really seeming to get any clear answers. This song remind me that Christ has promised to lead me, that He is aways beside me even when I don't feel like He's anywhere around. I can put my trust in Him, knowing that He will not fail me, and that, so long as I am trusting Him, all will be well with my soul.

Lessons From Ballroom Dance

This semester I’ve been taking a ballroom dance class with my brother and a couple of other friends. I’ve really enjoyed the entire class, but last night we learned the East Coast Swing which was, by far, the most fun dance we’ve learned. (I must admit that my favorite part of it was the fast swings, I was wearing a skirt that twirled just right when my brother swung me, and it was so much fun!) In the process of learning the basics of ballroom dance, I’ve learned some important concepts which can be applied to our walk with Christ:

1. In order to dance well with your partner, you have to know the steps.
- In order to effectively serve Christ, we must be spending time in His Word, getting to know the things He has said and learning the guidelines of the “dance.”

2. It is important carefully follow your partner's lead. This means being in-tune to the movements of his hands and body so that it takes only the slightest pressure for you to respond in the correct direction.
- We must be in daily communion with Christ, in-tune to His voice and His leading so that we will recognize the leads which He gives us.

3. You never quite know which step your partner might lead you into next. You know that the step will be one which is part of that dance and which goes with the music, but you don’t know exactly which one it will be.
- This is pretty much a combination of the ones above. We know that Christ will never lead us into a step that is not part of the dance that does not align with His Word. However, within His Word there is a lot of freedom for the individual believer. We can also rest confident in the fact that it is not our role to lead, simply to be in-tune to Him, trusting that He will lead us into the correct steps at the correct time.

4. Sometimes it is hard not to take the lead, but two people cannot lead at the same time.
- Either we control our lives or He does, both cannot be true. As Scripture says, “man cannot serve two masters.”

5. Properly following means leaning on your partner, you have to lean back into the support of his hand, trusting that he will not let you fall. Otherwise, he cannot lead you correctly.
- We have to be willing to lean on Jesus, even when it makes us feel insecure, like we’re going to fall. We have to be willing to surrender that control and security in order to follow Him more fully.

By no means to intend to imply with this post that I have these things mastered. In fact, writing it has been pretty convicting for me myself. I don’t rely on Him nearly as I ought to, and I often struggle with wanting to control my life and the direction that it’s going. However, my experience has been that just when you think you have it all figured out and know exactly where you’re going is when something happens that turns all your plans upside down. These are the times when we have to learn all over again the importance of relying on Him, day by day.

As I was writing this post, the chorus of a song kept playing through my head. So I looked it up and it turns out it was DC Talk’s “What if I Stumble.” I actually don’t recall ever having heard the entirety of this song before, but the lyrics do go right along with what I was talking about. If I post them here now, this post will be forever long, so I'm just going to post the chorus, but I would suggest you look up the rest of the lyrics. They definitely provide some food for thought:
What if I stumble?
What if I fall?
What if I lose my step, and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue if my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?